"Everyman loves us, but nobody marries us...
Many embrace us, but no one protects us...
If I were to tell you our life story beneath a tree,
the leaves will start falling like tears...
(Dunno if I can unquote here)
- A Devdasi to William Dalrymple, an author of Nine Lives-Encounters with the Holy in Modern India
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The drums were beating hard when that dull-shaded brown horse was galloping from the distance...
I want to climb on it, he saw me attempting the high jump..
I was embarressed and he smiled
He was in his white shirt and a pair of jeans, his hair were unsettled, one of the fringes just above his right eye...
I frowned. His smaile faded. He looked behind,I stood there, embarrassment now turning anger
He moved his eyes away and turned back.
I frowned even more...
He tooks too steps ahead and looked behind
"I'm...I'm sorry,
I din mean to..."
After that he did not turn, he walked and kept walking ahead
I reached the entrance of my cottage., looked in the mirror and saw a twig near my ear hidden in between the hair...I stared at it and let it be there
and I went to the room all smiling
I peeped out of the window, saw him walking far away..
Mom asked me to take a shower, but I paid no heed,
I should've asked his name,,,sheaa :(
His body was quite blurry then...
'Beena, utho beta..'
ahhh...why why !!
I want to climb on it, he saw me attempting the high jump..
I was embarressed and he smiled
He was in his white shirt and a pair of jeans, his hair were unsettled, one of the fringes just above his right eye...
I frowned. His smaile faded. He looked behind,I stood there, embarrassment now turning anger
He moved his eyes away and turned back.
I frowned even more...
He tooks too steps ahead and looked behind
"I'm...I'm sorry,
I din mean to..."
After that he did not turn, he walked and kept walking ahead
I reached the entrance of my cottage., looked in the mirror and saw a twig near my ear hidden in between the hair...I stared at it and let it be there
and I went to the room all smiling
I peeped out of the window, saw him walking far away..
Mom asked me to take a shower, but I paid no heed,
I should've asked his name,,,sheaa :(
His body was quite blurry then...
'Beena, utho beta..'
ahhh...why why !!
Idonotknowwhattowritesoiamtryingtofigureoutifpeopleactuallywillfantasizereadingthis
particularsentenceorifatallpeoplewishtoreadthispieceitwouldreallyboostmyconfidenceof
wrtingsomethingirrelevantandjustpasstimebytypingfewkeyshereandthereonmylaptop
Andtoalsotellyouasecretwishijustwantpeopletoreadmyblogandiftheylikeitthenialso
recommendtocommentandifnotthendonotwasteyourtimequicklygivemesuggestionsonthekindsof
improvementsyouwantinmyblogwhatifilistentoyouandmakethosechangestomakeyousmile.
particularsentenceorifatallpeoplewishtoreadthispieceitwouldreallyboostmyconfidenceof
wrtingsomethingirrelevantandjustpasstimebytypingfewkeyshereandthereonmylaptop
Andtoalsotellyouasecretwishijustwantpeopletoreadmyblogandiftheylikeitthenialso
recommendtocommentandifnotthendonotwasteyourtimequicklygivemesuggestionsonthekindsof
improvementsyouwantinmyblogwhatifilistentoyouandmakethosechangestomakeyousmile.
CAll
It's a new life, yes!
After coming here,so many things have changed
ACJ called me and my life was painted yet again.
I told Arpita, Maagha, Priti and Purvhih...Maagha was super-excited,
Priti was also 'too thrilled' knowing how much I wanted to go,
Arpita..hah she was sad, not for me but the distance did that...she was just getting closer to me and...
God loves to do this :)
Purvhih also gave her sister-hug over the phone...
That evening, I remember , there were few guests in the hall, Mati-Pappa were busy talking to them..I was laughing and smiling and gulping oxygen...the name on my sweet old monitor screen made me fall in love with my PC again..
I ran out...Mom hugged me as I showed her my name on the screen,
Dad was happy...and one more thought in his mind, quite not visible...
I messaged Amey.., he of course congratulated
My professional life was now fixed for a year
Sunnysh knew, that I didn't get what I didn't want...
But the fact of leaving him was more than everything, the last bachelor days of his life, then... probably my rapport with him might change., or not ??
Dunno...let that be
that will change in some way..will it ??!!
ahh...
I told Amey what I felt for him those two n a half years :O
that's what I did at eventide 8.30, when my train was scheduled for 11
Isn't that too much time wasted on one person like more than 2 years of figment, maagha-priti told me to forget him...
but it's not easy right ??
It should be easy but it's not
and then, the mail conversation...arrghh lets not get into that
The point is, am I asking for too much? Even Burday has a smart one(sorry no offence if yu get to know, I'm sure she won't find it is her even if she reaches this blog)
But that's how it makes me feel
Am I even allowed to..like that feeling again coated the way I want...or is Varun right ?!!
I hate that part, I hate that part
(yes it's twice)
after coming here..I had many many hopes..from him.., Amey, of crse
still I have (though now less hopes and more expectations)
Albeit, they won't affect ma mind now..I surreptiously reduce the opacity of that feeling ;)
Oh..forget him (
I'm trying to tell myself)
Mati was apprehensive of me leaving away from her,
But Ma...no worries
Pappa..I got what yu thought about me going away..I realised that when sunnysh and Mati told me about the Airport :)
This post was one of it's kinds !!
After coming here,so many things have changed
ACJ called me and my life was painted yet again.
I told Arpita, Maagha, Priti and Purvhih...Maagha was super-excited,
Priti was also 'too thrilled' knowing how much I wanted to go,
Arpita..hah she was sad, not for me but the distance did that...she was just getting closer to me and...
God loves to do this :)
Purvhih also gave her sister-hug over the phone...
That evening, I remember , there were few guests in the hall, Mati-Pappa were busy talking to them..I was laughing and smiling and gulping oxygen...the name on my sweet old monitor screen made me fall in love with my PC again..
I ran out...Mom hugged me as I showed her my name on the screen,
Dad was happy...and one more thought in his mind, quite not visible...
I messaged Amey.., he of course congratulated
My professional life was now fixed for a year
Sunnysh knew, that I didn't get what I didn't want...
But the fact of leaving him was more than everything, the last bachelor days of his life, then... probably my rapport with him might change., or not ??
Dunno...let that be
that will change in some way..will it ??!!
ahh...
I told Amey what I felt for him those two n a half years :O
that's what I did at eventide 8.30, when my train was scheduled for 11
Isn't that too much time wasted on one person like more than 2 years of figment, maagha-priti told me to forget him...
but it's not easy right ??
It should be easy but it's not
and then, the mail conversation...arrghh lets not get into that
The point is, am I asking for too much? Even Burday has a smart one(sorry no offence if yu get to know, I'm sure she won't find it is her even if she reaches this blog)
But that's how it makes me feel
Am I even allowed to..like that feeling again coated the way I want...or is Varun right ?!!
I hate that part, I hate that part
(yes it's twice)
after coming here..I had many many hopes..from him.., Amey, of crse
still I have (though now less hopes and more expectations)
Albeit, they won't affect ma mind now..I surreptiously reduce the opacity of that feeling ;)
Oh..forget him (
I'm trying to tell myself)
Mati was apprehensive of me leaving away from her,
But Ma...no worries
Pappa..I got what yu thought about me going away..I realised that when sunnysh and Mati told me about the Airport :)
This post was one of it's kinds !!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Shaadi-house
My family is living in one ‘shaadi house’. Yes, the Marriage-house.
The game had begun long back. It’s only now that the hulla-boo has started ringing into Ma-Pa’s ears and lately it has wrapped Sunny and me too. They’ve bought innumerous sarees, the golden fat neckpiece, earrings, all possible jewellery, the wedding cards got printed, the native house is all furnished and dazzling, the luminous preparations for ‘the evening’, the Horsie for the Dulha has been decided…and all of this…
was OVER and done before I reached Home :(
I only missed everything to do for my brother’s wedding preparations.
It was this that I was yearning for, for the past two years, the card selection, Mati’s Sarees, her necklace, anklets; Pappa’s suit, his sherwani, Sunny’s Sherwani, his Reception Suit and so much more to add to the list…
This remained a surprise for me. I too shopped (for like 3 days). The scurry of crowding near the most beautiful dresses and chaniya cholis was not enough for my legs. They were leaping in the air-conditioned shops. The body didn’t ache after more or less ten to twelve trials in each shop. The couture had just begun, let alone the accessories.
Nevertheless the feeling to be in a shaadi-house was enthralling. Papa was too busy shopping for us to buy him anything we recommended.
The late night chats didn’t even bother to sap my strength after the long hours of trials and shopping.
Even after I returned to Chennai, the shaadi syndrome is still on…
Why just the four days of bait. They were over like this (I’m snapping my fingers with a lull on my face with a wrinkled brow).
But alright, am waiting for the wait for 19th November to get over.
The game had begun long back. It’s only now that the hulla-boo has started ringing into Ma-Pa’s ears and lately it has wrapped Sunny and me too. They’ve bought innumerous sarees, the golden fat neckpiece, earrings, all possible jewellery, the wedding cards got printed, the native house is all furnished and dazzling, the luminous preparations for ‘the evening’, the Horsie for the Dulha has been decided…and all of this…
was OVER and done before I reached Home :(
I only missed everything to do for my brother’s wedding preparations.
It was this that I was yearning for, for the past two years, the card selection, Mati’s Sarees, her necklace, anklets; Pappa’s suit, his sherwani, Sunny’s Sherwani, his Reception Suit and so much more to add to the list…
This remained a surprise for me. I too shopped (for like 3 days). The scurry of crowding near the most beautiful dresses and chaniya cholis was not enough for my legs. They were leaping in the air-conditioned shops. The body didn’t ache after more or less ten to twelve trials in each shop. The couture had just begun, let alone the accessories.
Nevertheless the feeling to be in a shaadi-house was enthralling. Papa was too busy shopping for us to buy him anything we recommended.
The late night chats didn’t even bother to sap my strength after the long hours of trials and shopping.
Even after I returned to Chennai, the shaadi syndrome is still on…
Why just the four days of bait. They were over like this (I’m snapping my fingers with a lull on my face with a wrinkled brow).
But alright, am waiting for the wait for 19th November to get over.
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