High on...

History!!

It's never happeneed before

Aware of my senses but partly not in my control...dunno which moment but 24th february will be significant..It takes just a stooopid message to make it all evident and a few insecurities to make me realise that...
I probably knew it...I wanted it or not, is yet another deal...but lots unsaid was now spoken of directly with reactions
Not quite disappointing but they did have some nebulous answers

It's just mindful easiness and laid down on this day to creep on to this idea of staying happy when we want...It relieves you of then worries...procrastinates them for another hour or moment and I survived the brunt by passing it on through an extension cable of your life...
but it still remains opaque, even clearer and rather transient is such a life!
It's partly pretentious, yet unknown..I wish I did not for a better reaction when I know the answer, but that moment, the botherance doen;'t strike and you want an answer to everything you look for...all the answers you want to hear...and if you don't, it doesn't matter, cos' you're on a high

I need not this but it gives me relief for the moment...
If I live in the moment, there's no harm...is it ?
coming back to the low is inevitable and this will whine me about the moment I did not care...yet it's beautiful to know the moment I turned into a fool!
Nothing beyond that grabs you and you only love to be in the moment...so regret not..the high is always on a high...now no more struggling to carry myself,
I write this at 4 in the morning in an IIT lab after sneaking in past through a sleepy watchman, to fathom the state of my high this very night

I shall check this blogpost tomorrow...Rather (looks into the watch) today morning...

Good day :)

!! Want to sit in a corner beside a couch and sip coffee that ends no soon !!

I'm grabbed upon...
Grabbed by the most insisting part that does not belong to me

It still takes over...the authority and thought process,
intimidating and provoking...it needs to be ruptured
my glasses are on to announce it has not succeeded..
but am not sure if it works

I don't want to kill it, but make sure it falls into the trap
Sorry but make way!!

Another Feb...7*2

It has to be another year where I see myself with the coffee mug on a table spacing out staring at a wall. After like 22 years..many things seems to have changed. But that void is still untouched. Dubious it gets in there..it is me here or up there somewhere, hidden in the dreams.

That’s the precise reason I told mom that ‘I wish to go to Jupiter…’

No kidding..I really do. There should be a different me. Why is it that these 22 (that's 7*1+1)years…Okay., even if I discount the number of years…why even the last five blooddy long years, I have seen myself smiling at the mug. And the smile is not for its insipidity for the day…but because it dares to be different for the rest of the year.

Though it turns shameless on this day, walking all alone towards me, I respect it to be with me, to accompany me…and so I smile.

None has been able to intrude our way for these blooddy long years ... and dunno if someone can **smug**
Lots to share with and smile at the coffee mug this year too, but am still counting on the years, these blooddy long years !!

Feminism...

Feminism can be a fairly debatable topic that can go on for hours, rather days...
The lectures given by feminists, make it quite unstable above the top of you,
A Woman is a Goddess for some...while a piece of object for the same some as it convinces them on convenience!

Am afraid..I did not know much about this masochism and the powerless woman funda..about the patriarchal society that I lived in...
Females are given power as it permits\\
I'm here to discover if I was really living in the same...though I am aware of it all...I was sometimes bothered with the power domination, but the I also had the power to face the power and so I can talk about feminism today or rather understand it better

Though I am a witness to it in the society...It does matter to me when I wish to do something and when something is forced onto me...but the men too are forced, into believing to be masculine...isn't that a burden on them too

They are powerful no doubt but aren't they too supposed to wear a peculiar identity on their sleeves
However...I'm told to return home early as I am a girl..I can't say no to that cos' yes I might be eve-teased or molested or the worse to it :O
While my brother would not face the consequence, though he is often told about being present in the house before midnight...but the compulsion is lucid!!

Want a reason from the powerful who deny the rights and power of the powerless..powerless to decide for themselves, powerless- who have suffered from their biological only existence...powerless- who are not the only but vivid reasons for the powerful's existence...powerless - who cannot decide if they want or deserve the power!!

reason it out...the powerless are not powerless indeed but made to believe they are powerless...and that's why I use the term..(my apologies to all the women)
One needs to exist for themselves and the way they desire to and never otherwise!!